I don't watch sports. Ever. Especially baseball, which I consider one of the most boring sports imaginable. But my incredibly sexy baseball fan friend has brought to my attention something in the world of sports that needs to be addressed, right now.
The mascot of the Cincinnati Reds, Mr. Red, is the best baseball mascot of all time.
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| Just look at this crazy son of a bitch |
His design is, in my opinion, completely flawless for a baseball mascot in my opinion. Someone completely unaware of the existence of the Cincinatti Reds (like me until today, for instance) can look at this mascot an instantly gain at least a partial understanding of it. What sport does this mascot represent? Oh his entire head is a giant baseball, doesn't leave much ambiguity there. What is the team's name? Well, the only other feature that stands out (Other than the giant moustache and serial killer eyes) is that his entire uniform is RED. BOOM, there we go, the team is called the REDS. And that is one of the things I really like about this guy, nothing is left vague or unexplained, and nothing about the design is frivolous, unlike SOME mascots I can think of...
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| WHAT THE SHIT IS THIS |
"Oh, but, the moustache is frivolous! The moustache doesn't need to be there!"
SHUT YOUR DAMNED MOUTH, IMAGINARY COMMENTER. The moustache is an absolutely CRUCIAL part of the design, because due to the ABSOLUTE BRILLIANCE of the idea, "man-with-giant-baseball-for-head" has been used for more than one team.
AND IT IS AWFUL.
Sans-facial hair and murderous glare, all interest is sucked out of the design, like the soft tender innards of the unfortunate children Mr. Met must feed upon every half moon.
Mr. Red is the superior baseball headed mascot, there is no doubt about this. And it only gets better once you consider the rather dark implications of a man with a baseball for a head running around brandishing a baseball bat.
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| That does explain the "gut you with a meathook" stare |
